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There are many weddings held during the spring
and fall in Japan. Some of you might be attending a Japanese
wedding, so I'll explain some of the traditions and give you
some etiquette tips to attend a Japanese wedding.
A Japanese
wedding ceremony can be Christian, Buddhist,
or Shinto style. Since most Japanese aren't religious, the
style doesn't necessarily match with their religion. For
example, it's common for non-Christian couples to have their
wedding ceremonies at a church.
Non-family
members don't usually attend the marriage ceremony itself,
rather they go to the wedding reception, called "Kekkon
Hiroen" in Japanese. The style and scale of
wedding receptions vary depending on the regions in Japan.
A typical Japanese wedding reception is formal, and it's
like a show.
If you receive a invitation card, you need to let the couple
know if you can attend or not as soon as possible.
If you are
attending a Japanese wedding reception, you are expected
to bring cash for a gift (called Oshugi).
The amount depends on your relationship with the couple
and the region, unless the fixed amount is indicated on
the invitation card. The average is 30,000yen ($250) for
a friend's wedding. It's important that the cash is enclosed
in a special envelope called Shugi-bukuro and your name
is written on the front. You can even buy the envelopes
at a supermarket or convenience store. When you get to the
reception, give the envelope to the person at the reception
desk and sign your name in the guestbook. People usually
dress formally to attend a Japanese wedding reception. You
might see many female guests wearing kimono.
The bride changes
costumes a couple of times during the reception. Usually,
she wears a colorful and gorgeous kimono calleduchikake
and a white wedding dress and other colorful dresses. The
groom usually wears a men's kimono called
haoiri-hakama or a tuxedo depending on what the bride wears.
During the
reception, the married couple sits on a stage observing
the guests' speeches and performances. You might be asked
to do something at the reception. Many people sing their
favorite songs. The couple also walks around the tables
in the room, lighting the candles and they also cut the
wedding cake. There are neither bridesmaids nor a best man
at a Japanese wedding. An older couple, called Nakoudo,
is responsible for managing the wedding and they sit by
the couple on the stage.The bride wears a traditional wedding
costume called shiromuku (white kimono) and the groom wears
haori-hakama (men's kimono).
Guests' seats
are usually arranged according to their relationship with
the couple; look for your name on the tables when you enter
the reception room. Usually a full-course meal (typically
French) is served at the table. Enjoy the meal while other
guests are doing their performances. You might be confused
when you should eat or not at first, I say look around and
follow what others do at your table. When the reception
is over, the guests will receive souveniors called Hikidemono.
Hikidemono traditionally includes dried bonito or sugar,
which mean happiness in Japan. In addition, lots of gifts,
for example, a cake, silverware, a clock, ceramic, or sake,
are given. The average cost of a typical reception party
in Japan is a couple million yen ($20,000-$30,000) and the
number of guest ranges from 50 to 200 people for an average
couple. But the scale of the wedding reception is decreasing
in Japan, and simple weddings are becoming more popular
in recent years.
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